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no means no

I was raped last year in my best friends house, by someone id known for a while, i had been drinking and had passed out on the bathroom floor, i woke up to this man raping me... I believed it was partly my fault to begin with, because i was drunk but now i dont, no means no and no man has the right to do that. I said no. Why are people so messed up about this. No means no,so why should it matter if drink or short skirts are involved?

Author: hannah, Female, scotland
Date: 29/06/2010

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Replies to this post

The argument used against women regarding their 'culpability' in rape invariably comes back to their dress, their state of intoxication and their perceived 'up for it-ness'; all implying that men are devoid of perceptive skills and at the mercy of their state of arousal. Rarely is the argument used against men regarding their 'culpability' in a rape allegation that they are predatory, controlling and abusive. 'No' most certainly means no, even if not stated verbally.
Many, many, many men have been with women who are drunk, dressed as women dress, and who have flirted with them, and have NOT raped or sexually assaulted them. This is an issue these men should be taking up as the men who rape and sexually assault are defiling them too.

Author: Caz, Female, Scotland
Date: 06/07/2010

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“Rape seems to be the only crime where it's seen as ok to put the victim on trial.”

Natasha, Female from Glasgow

“Short skirts don't cause rape. Rapists cause rape”

Joss, Female from Connecticut

“About time something like this was shown on TV. Hopefully it will make everyone realise there cannot be any excuse for rape - EVER.”

Helzo, Female from Renfrewshire