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going over to a guys house [Note from moderators: Trigger warning]

I was talking to this guy for about a while just as a friend nothing more he asked me two come over then I agreed two it a drank a lil bit then he started two kiss me. I said two myself this is wrong but I was out of it I kept drifting of two sleep he asked me wats I said nothing he said two me your not drunk are you I said I was fine but I really wasn't then the next thing I know he grabs my hand and he wnats me two touch him I pulled my hand away but he keeps pulling it back. Then after he picked me up and pulled my bottoms off and statrted to have intercourse I started crying I was so scared and in shock my whole body went numb I didn't feel like I was in my body He said he wasn't taking advatage of me but we both no' he was he knew y he was trying two get me over. I layed on da floor as he was on top of crying he asked me if he was sure wanted him 2 stop I told him yes but he asked me if I can make him get off before he stops he wanted 2 continue but I said no so he stopped he feels really bad 4 wat he did. I'm so stupid 4 not listening 2 my gut wat happen between me and him was dead wrong. Sum times I said yes other times I said no I was scrared if I didn't do wat he said den he'll force me but in a way he kinda did a lil bit. he tried to deny taking advantage of me he said I thought you wanted it I told him no I didn't I told him I even told him in the beging no sex I was intoxicated I was afraid to fight back since what happend to me when I was first raped I think how everything went down he planned it after that night he started coming around my work place just to see me he was basically stalking me and he still is everything upsets me I shouldv'e faught back I never should've never went over there I never should've drank its all my fault

Author: Ann, Female, USA
Date: 28/06/2011

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Replies to this post

Hi Ann,
It's definitely not your fault! Only the person who put you through that is to blame. You have every right to have a drink without being assaulted in this way. I'm really sorry you went through that and I hope you can get some support to help you through it. RAINN run a National Sexual Assault Online Hotline which is completely confidential if you want to talk to someone. You can find out all about this at https://ohl.rainn.org/online/.

Author: Kathleen, Female, UK
Date: 28/06/2011

I've talked to rainn and also a crisis center this guy who raped me is still stalking me at my workplace and purposely torementing me and re-retramuatizing me I had a two hour session with the psycologist he determain that I have ptsd and depression. We also talked with the military about what happend and see if there is anything that can be done. They said I still can report the assualt but it would be hard to prove since I waited so long to report it. It's been 7 months since the rape and this creep is still stalking me at my workplace he kepps coming in the store everyday torementing and re-traumatizing me. The military said I could get a restraing order against him through the local police department or through the military.
Ever since the rape my appetite changed I suffer from depression and ptsd I tried killing myself I sef-harmed I have anxitey attacks trouble sleeping and flashbacks I hate what this guy is doing to me

Author: ann, Female, usa
Date: 09/11/2011

Hi there,
We're really sorry to hear that things are still so difficult for you. If we can help in any way and you would like to contact us directly, please email us at info@rapecrisisscotland.org.uk

Author: Rape Crisis Scotland
Date: 09/11/2011

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