Have your say


A Letter

Dear Rape Sympathizers,

Did you ever think that maybe we women are not dressing in any particular way for you, but for ourselves?

When I go out, I pick my outfit based on what makes me feel confident and fun, which is intended to highlight my mood and personality. If you find me attractive, then that's a bonus. But it NEVER replaces clear consent.

So I'm not wearing that fun top or dress for you. Or your buddies. Or even my own husband. I'm wearing it for ME.


Author: Sara, Female, Indiana, USA
Date: 28/07/2011

Return to forum

Replies to this post

I find these arguments almost as disturbing as some of the apologists'. Please don't hide behind ingenuous semantics, it doesn't help the cause.

Why does a certain outfit make you feel confident and fun? Is it perhaps because you feel it highlights certain characteristics you know are attractive to your chosen gender? Do you have lovely legs that are shown off by a short skirt, or an impressive cleavage. I personally feel most empowered when wearing cargo pant and Doc Martens but when I go "out" I wear something that people will find attractive.
I'm too old to need sexual validation but I still feel the need to present an appearance that other people will look at and make a favourable judgement.

So yes, you may well dress "for yourself" but you are in fact dressing to make a certain impression, whatever that may be. The impression is up to you and no, it never signals "RAPE ME".

Author: Bex, Female, Wales
Date: 08/01/2014

Have your say

“Rape seems to be the only crime where it's seen as ok to put the victim on trial.”

Natasha, Female from Glasgow

“Short skirts don't cause rape. Rapists cause rape”

Joss, Female from Connecticut

“About time something like this was shown on TV. Hopefully it will make everyone realise there cannot be any excuse for rape - EVER.”

Helzo, Female from Renfrewshire